can’t wait!!!
whee.. don’t have to do hardclose!! (although we’ve started some work on it.) and that means i dun have to cancel my end year leave! well, not so whee in the sense cos client’s accounts are kinda wonky. lots of tidying up to do and i ve never done such a messy one before. i really pity the assistant for all the crap she has to tidy up. but Thank you God for a nice client! Just hope we can really pull of finals come peak period!!
and whee once again cos weekend is almost upon us!!! though i have to go and find annual dinner dress. sigh. cos with my erm body shape.. there will be limited selection. craps. any suggestions anyone? sigh. so dedicating sat to finding it. so, fingers crossed!!!
third wheeeee cos someone’s coming back soon!!! me jumping around the room with excitement!! ok not so soon but in less than a month!! still!! it’s been 4 months since we last saw each other. wished we didn’t have to continue on with LDR… =( oh well. hopefully it’s for the greater good! =p
kindred spirit
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we laughed a lot… i ber-gila a lot… we chatted really til the wee hours of the morning…
went out with lisa last wk and last nite. somehow, we seem to have LOADS to talk about and can never seem to cover everything that we have to say =) it’s funny cos we’ve been out of touch since high school til now except for the occassional bump into’s and yet we can just click! or is it clique! anyway, i realised that our circumstances in life and relationship and thinking or even some little quirks are rather similar if not the same… it felt like she’s my kindred spirit.. a bestie that i ve always longed for… (haha.. hope i m not freaking u out wei =p)
we knew each other way back many years ago in our teens (where i hated her bf’s guts and he hated mine but she always sided me in the end.. nyek nyek) and our mum’s have known each other too from many many many moonlight years ago! in fact, we’ve always joked how we could have been cousins as her uncle sort of used to have a… shal we say.. a little tendre for my mum. then again, if that had ended in a happy ending, then i wouldn’t be here cos of different genes etc.
anyways, everytime she says sth that i SO can relate to, i’ll reach over in a gesture to shake her hand and when i say sth that she feels totally sama wavelength with… she’ll shake mine! hehe. it’s rather funny. and we’re both a bit chin chai where to go which can be good and yet bad especially when i went rounding esp ytd with ss2 pasar mlm. so, we headed to curve supposedly to go to nichii to hunt for my annual dinner dress but we were side tracked at borders til they kicked us out (haha.. cos the shop was closing la.. but we were somewhat “kicked out” of padini… hehe) and we headed to kayu’s for yam cha.
talking to her abt lots of things amongst them were about relationships make me think back on mine. maybe i’ve been pushing those tots aside but sometimes, when u feel fed up or tired and unassured… one can’t help but wonder. i was saying to my mum how it seems that most guys seem contented with their gfs where else the gfs seem to grill the bf to change for the better perhaps in the sense of don’t smoke.. or dont’ drink so much.. or no tatoos etc.
and my mum said that it’s better to look for a guy that has already changed (ie dependable and reliable with good habits etc.) then be with a guy u keep hoping he’ll change bcos guys won’t change. ever. i really hope that’s not the case. if not, i min for a long haul…and a long rocky road of disappointments and sadness.
i will always tell my bf. “when i say u.. it’s not cos i want to pull u down or bring u down or downgrade u.. i say it cos i care.. if not, i wouldn’t waste my saliva seriously.” and seriously, if he really changes to be a better person, if we break up… i won’t gain from it but he will. cos he’s a better person. rite? i mean, i dun say, “hey, ure ugly.. do sth about ur face”.
when i say change.. i meant more along the lines like… mean what u say.. ur actions speak louder than words.. hence, walk ur talk. etc. oh well, some too “open” minded ppl will say too controlling la.. must close one eye and so on. no wonder ppl are turning out the way they are. somehow, openness seem to equate to looseness. then again, it’s a matter of perspective ay.
haha. too bad i dun have a pic of lisa (although i could get it off her fb) to post here. man. she said a lot of things to amused me and i said a lot of silly things back too that i wanted to blog but can’t seem to remember a blessed thing for the life of me. til the next time then…
btw, yeah.. i ve finished the novel.. so, shall pass it to u when i see u next k? =p
count ur blessings and name them one by one
thank you, God.
1) thank u that i have a stable job that pays well even if i dread it everyday.
2) thank u that i have a family. despite our differences and conflicts, we have our UPS and we’re still a family.
3) thank u that i have a bf even if sometimes things may not seem to go the way i wish it would.
4) thank u for friends who bring a smile to my face and laughter with their little ways and antiques even if sometimes i wish we were much more closer and special.
5) thank u that i have hands and arms to hug others and be hugged in return. i am a firm believer in hugs. of course, not just with any tom, dick and harry k!!
6) thank u for good and clear eyesight despite my constant abuse of them.
7) thank u for a mother who cares so much that she sacrificed so much.
8 ) thank u for constantly watching over me and being patient with me especially now as i try to find my path back to u.
expectations…
How do you know if too much is too much? or know when is it too little?
Lately, ever since that mishap, i feel like throwing in the towel when small things crop up but on some level, i feel as if perhaps as i ve made my bed, i have to lie in it , bear the consequences and there’s no other way.
But is it really the only way?
i may feel a particular feeling for that issue/matter but the other person might not necessarily be insync and on the same wavelength with me which causes me to be in a little dilemma as this may very well be my future at stake!!
ppl can say one has too much expectations and that naturally leads to disappointments when those expectations aren’t met but it’s only natural for there to be expectations. how can one say don’t have any?
it’s like saying… “don’t expect a father to behave like one” or “don’t expect your tuition teacher to teach u ur money’s worth of coaching” or “don’t expect to have a heart that beats or a brain that functions or eyes that can see etc“. that’s rather asking the impossible isn’t it?
and is it so wrong to expect ppl u love and care to reciprocrate those feelings and show u the same curtesy u show them? in the case of guy n girl then ok, that’s a little tough. we’ve all been through the times where we had a crush on a guy/gal but the feelings unfortunately weren’t mutual but what i m saying is perhaps between friends or family.
i just wished i could leave everything behind n start afresh. To find the real me or the new me. I ve actually been pretty happy this past 2 weeks but there’s been a lot on my mind (i m not going to be pessimistic during out trip k, lynnie d meanie!!). issues with family.. ppl whom i call my friends or so i tot they were.. cliques i tot i were part of but it appears not. i put a lot of things on hold for bf n family n when should i say enough is enough?
i m searching for answers to my questions and somehow i feel that the answers can’t be found here where i m and if things don’t change, my questions may go unanswered.
previous weeks, a thought hit me… if i were to die tonite and there was a funeral service for me, what would u say about me? what would be my legacy that i have left behind? would u have kind words to say of me? would u say that i had helped u out in ur time of need no matter how small it may seem and how i did so? would u say that i was a good friend? a good daughter or sister?
i hope that when the time comes, someone will have something kind and nice to say of me and that i had impacted u in some point of ur life no matter how small and if i haven’t i hope that i will have the chance to do so before my time is up.
a special day came and passed…
i didn’t get much present this yr but m still happy cos…
from bf, ni ni and melb folks
1) bf sent me pressie n ni ni too! it was a surprise as they were both busy with final exams.
2) my uncle, aunty n cousin from melbourne sent flowers.
colleagues and d yummy food
3) colleagues bought for me perfume (i hope it’s not cos they’re meanies and think i smell which i don’t k but of course i smell nicer now with euphoria blossom by CK) and d mega trio got for me a blouse from seed (which i need to lose some weight to look better in it.. hehe) and of course belanja-ed me dinner at Pizza Uno, Centrepoint with a cake too!
my first bday choco cake n pressie!
3) lots of ppl wished me happy birthday.. even on facebook!
crispy white bait, pasta, seafood platter and grilled herbs dory
4) had dinner at Manhatten Fish Market with my family!!
my second cake- ice cream from swenson
5) had 2 bday cakes.. one choc cake with colleagues and a swenson choco chip ice cream with my family! and from 24 i became younger by 2 years… look at d candles…
5) my mum paid a huge portion (80%) of my hp as a bday and christmas pressie!!
and for that..
THANK YOU all for making an ordinary day not so ordinary!!
God’s listening???
although i have been dreading work, since being back, work isn’t really that bad yet cos…
1) i dun work late
2) i dun go to client’s place
3) i don’t deal with client
4) i don’t bring work home
5) i don’t have much to do. just read through last year’s work and familarise myself with the issues
did i mention that i get to go back early? plus… i don’t bring work home??? well, that’s just for this week. sure i have equally a lot to gripe and whine about (ie job allocation and no proper staff/assistant support) but i think as a step to trying to be positive, i shall refrain from ranting if possible. =) i guess perhaps God heard my plea.
i watched lots of movies this week… “accidental spy” (rating: 4/5) starring uma thurman and izzie’s denny duquette from grey’s anatomy which is the same guy who acted in “ps: i love you”. just love his sexy brogue… i think his irish or was it scots accent?? oooh.. just googled him and his name is Jeffrey Dean Morgan!!!
“mama mia” (rating: 1/5) was rather disappointing. i mean, lots of ppl were raving about it. come on, they had abba hit songs… big name celebrities ie pierce brosnon, merryl streep, colin firth to a name a few but the whole show felt so comical-ish and the musical parts just fell flat. the broadway musical better be worth the hundreds that ppl pay for. i only watched to the end was to see who the dad was… but of course, we never did found out!
on to other movies. watched “007 quantum of solace” (rating: 3.5/5) last nite with wen. it was typical bond movie with lots of damage scene. not much sexual scenes/innuendos. basically, have no expectations and the show won’t be such a disaster. wen, who kept whacking and insulting me the whole nite didn’t like the movie but gushed about mamamia where else i was ok with 007 but really found mamamia a joke!
anyways, heading off to sleep. so, no more reviews for now though i watched a few others.
sporting a headache. darn it! if only i could skip work tmr but i can’t. have to settle the issues discussed today with manager and client though it involved last year issues.
nite and cheerios!
SE G900i!!!
and so, with the kidnapping or rather handphonenapping of my mum’s nokia 6630 that i was using previously and with no ransom call, i bought sony ericsson’s G900i that i have been eyeing for quite some time ever since charlie showed his one to me! and it’s my first time buying a hp. so, excited and yet apprehensive abt it.
my mum is paying a huge portion off the price as my bday and christmas present and i will top up the remaining amount. hence, with this hp, i m going to CHAIN it to my body so that it never goes missing! =p
SE G900i
-it has touchscreen function
-camera is 5 megapixel/flash/3x zoom/auto focus/image stabiliser/video recording and calling
-there is wifi support and 3g
and lots more other function that i’ve yet to discover. keypad’s really nice to use and that’s a no.1 must for me. well, i guess at least sth good came out of that malang-ness. sigh. curse that lady or whoever who took my hp an eternity of period!!!! bleed forever!! or eternity of super bad BO (body ordour) and acne and blackheads and badbreathe!!!
my bf’s housemate lost her hp in aussie few mths back and the person who found it called her to return her hp. what’s wrong with malaysians? this is my 2nd hp that was stolen in less than 6 mths and lousy hp to boot! previously was a few-yrs-old nokia 3315 and this round is a yr old nokie 6630!
i ve known about 2-3 ppl who have found hps BUT kept it from themselves even when they themselves had alrite hps!! is this a malaysian culture? to not have the curtesy or kind heart to return sth they’ve found? many yrs ago, my sis lost her IC and someone mailed it back to her. has that generation of pp who find things and return them died out? is the current generation of pp so materialistic?
i mean… among other things are… look at how malaysians drive. that itself is a bad testimony. when u put ur indicator/signal to the left/right. the person on that lane won’t have the manners nor the curtesy to slow down for u. in fact, they speed up and even sometimes cut over to ur lane! let’s talk about zebra crossings… we, malaysians have NO qualms about speeding up when we see zebra crossings/pedestrians. when i was in aussie, even before the pedestrian steps onto the zebra crossing, drivers will slow down or stop to let the pedestrian get to the zebra crossing and cross over!
on to other malaysian “habits”… look at our taxi drivers who tries to rip of passengers especially if they’re tourists! how about our road signs. sometimes hidden behind bushes/trees, sometimes so obscure u dun even see it til the very last min! look at the wonderful ministry who had nth better to do and wanted to change Jln Alor to some other stupid unknown name for reasons only known to them. don’t they have better things to do?
few days back i was watching the news with my dad and saw the meeting in parliament if i was not mistaken. gosh. the ministers bicker like little children and to think these are the ppl governing our country. no wonder we are where we are rite at this point in time!
ok. it appears that i have digress again. anyhow, wat i am trying to say is i really hope that in the event if u guys do find any hps in the future or anything, u will find it in ur heart to make an effort to return that hp even when the temptation to keep it is strong… and i m sure somehow, u will be richly rewarded/blessed! and i hope none of u ever lose ur hp or it being hpnapped!!
sometimes…
… i really wonder how much do you really care??
i m talking about how sincere are u? and i m not talking about half past six kind of sincere..
another malang day…. @#$@$!^%^#
1) it’s no longer my bday.
2) early morning, someone nag me… then few minutes later, yelled at me.
3) no mood to go shopping but promised sis, so we went to 1u, wanted park at the old wing jusco basement. mana tau, stupid 1u management or whoever smartly directed traffic to first avenue car park (one world hotel’s carpark)! and from there, you have to walk FREAKING far to the 1u lift and get off at B1 (we had to park at B3) and take a different lift to 1u! how stupid is that!!!??? and the lift takes ages to come to our floor!!!
it really makes me wonder how ppl who supposedly are the “management” get to be at that level in the first place when their actions show such stupidity!! if patrons can’t find parking, let us have the option of rounding the lot looking for a space! don’t force us to go to a different location and then make us walk super freaking far, in the humid heat and wait forever for the lift with no option of staircases! plus, leaves us susceptible to being robed or kidnapped and whatever not!
4) hp kena stolen! that’s the second time in less than 6 mths. super sui. maybe i won’t ever get one anymore.
5) can say more but what’s the point???!!!
now really LAGI no mood. it’s bad enough that it’s a sunday and tmr… it’s back to work! now, more malang crap? sigh. i think it’s just not my nature to be optimistic for long. maybe not where i m. maybe i need to break free from home… from work… start somewhere new.
then again, if only i have such luxury.
birthday list…
to all november babies!!
well.. it’s that time of the month where november babies are d celebrities of d month! *haha*
anyways, with mine coming up REAL soon (and with some ppl asking what i would like), it got me thinking.. there’s so much i want cos there’s so much i want to do… but i guess i’ll just settle for the below… *wink*
1) air ticket to brisbane for my bf’s graduation in dec (then again… prolly move this to the wishlist)
2) that i can resign and have a job i enjoy and that i m good at that pays?
3) seriously, if you can make me slim or just give me the formula to lose weight or slim down, i would be forever grateful!!
4) RM1million??? (why RM1million? that’ll be another entry for another day)
ok.. ok.. i m trying to think of something that is more practical within the budget.
5) perfume (not that fussy but NO citrus smelling ones)
6) a package for hair/facial? (i need grooming cos i look horrendous but it’s expensivek.. if a group shares then it won’t be that bad i guess)
7) that my bf was back or would be back soon
and as 8 is my favourite number as it is after all my birthdate…lastly,
8) all i really want is to have a good memory. a day of happiness and joy. a special day to spend with ppl who i care and who cares for me. to know that i have friends and not just “hi”, “bye” ones but friends who’ll stick through thick and thin.
most prob be hanging out with my colleagues who are planning a dinner for me and i hope that it’ll be a blast and i know definitely that it’ll be cos they won’t embarass me by doing the below…
omg
ps: i m thankful that today was a pretty good day somewhat cos i got to stay in office, had an easy day and i got to leave at6pm! but the tough period is coming up and i m wondering how to weather the storm… a shot of perseverence and a jugful of optimism??!
going kookies with a glass of milk half empty 