August 30, 2008 at 1:27 am (feelings) ()

ok.. this isn’t going to be a sad or depressing or a ranty entry.. for once eh? *hehe* but more of a-be-thankful-for-what-i-have kind of entry.

just came back from a dinner/yam cha session with my two girlfriends. i always feel happier/light hearted after chatting up a storm with these 2 gals cos one is just sooo cute and makes funny comments (Ms. Cute) and the other is ever sweet and such a listener!!Henceforth known as Ms. Sweet! 

we were supposed to actually meet up at greenwood at SS2 which was our previous favourite haunt but due to the crazy jams on the road almost everywhere or so it seemed and other factors, we changed our venue to where niu che shui is, somewhere near the kelana jaya depot. We decided on a cafe like place called Station 1. The surroundings was alrite with a stage for live bands but the menu was rather lackluster especially the appetisers/finger food dept!

anyways, witty companions and funny conversation are what that matteres most at the end of the day. it’s been awhile since we 3 last met and we had soooo much to catch up on even rite up to ms. cute’s house. we were sitting outside of her house in ms. sweet’s suave black myvi for close to an hour just chatting. ok. ok. i know it’s not safe to do just that but time just literally flew past us.

ms. cute forever never ceases to amuse us with her “innocent” like questions and comments! i was just telling them both that my new house number is going to be no. 69 and  ms. sweet was giving me a one kind look and asked if i knew what that number meant and i said yeah that it was a sex position. She was saying that she just found out what it meant etc and i was just saying there are lots of positions and missionary is the common one whereby the guy is on top and the girl is underneath lying on the bed which we mostly see on tv before they censore it.

And she said,”why is it called missionary?? is it because the guy is on a mission???!!”

ms. sweet and i stared at each other blankly for several seconds and burst out laughing! never thought of it that way! ok. it sounded funny when she said it!

well, friends like these are treasures for keeps! u can joke all day long, poke fun at each other, ask sensitive questions that may seem personal but among us.. what is personal eh? and for that, one thing i m grateful for is these 2 friends!

i m starting to realise that there are a few things i will miss if i do go to Aussie for good and these 2 galpals are definitely on the list!!



ps: pics were taken from google image cos i tot better to preserve my friend’s identity! hehe.  haven’t asked their permission yet if i could blog their pics mar…


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August 27, 2008 at 12:42 am (feelings) ()

tears of bleakness

tears of bleakness

i cried and i cried and i cried. i feel so bleak rite now. does anyone hear my cries?

tmr i’ll spot panda, puffy eyes. did crying cleanse my bleak and aching heart?

no, it did not.

and the bleakness won’t go away if things don’t change.

somehow, it feels as if it never will.

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anything anyone? or just whatever?

August 25, 2008 at 3:54 pm (drinks) (, )

you know how when it’s lunch time and you ask around your friends or colleagues where they would like to go for lunch/dinner and then there will be a chorus of “anything” lar or “whatever” lar.. and when someone finally do chooses a destination, then someone else will pop up and say they would prefer elsewhere and after 10mins or so of indecisiveness, we will all head to our destination.

it’s so common when questions arises such as “what would you like to eat?”, ” what would you like to drink?” etc and the common response is normally “anything” or “whatever”…

which brings me to what i wanted to blog about.. my bro and i was at 7-eleven several weeks back and he showed me an interesting selection of drinks on the shelf named “anything” and “whatever”! anything is carbonated where else whatever is non carbonated and as for what’s inside? beats me… u just never know. u could get perhaps orange flavour or tropical or strawberry or just about anything possible i guess!! so, head on down to 7-eleven outlets and check out this peculiar and interesting drink!

anything and whatever

anything and whatever

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August 24, 2008 at 8:55 pm (feelings) ()

somehow, it seems as if i don’t blog as much as i used to. true enough that i tend to blog when i m down or depressed. i may not be SUPER depress or anything but i m definitely not chirpy happy. 24 this year and seriously, time is passing me by.

there’s so much more i want to do, so much more i have to do and so much more there is to do. i just feel overwhelm all the time and i don’t know where to start or how to begin. seeing as to how i ve not had time or lack of blogmood, here’s just a mini update.

1. family trip to Swiss Garden sth sth club at Damai Laut was alrite. Didn’t do much, mostly rested, watched tv, swim and had a dip in the jacuzzi with sis n mum. yeah yeah. who watches tv and sleeps when they’re on vacation rite?

well, firstly, the HOTEL’s service really SUCKS to put it bluntly. we asked for additional bed for my bro when we checked in and the receptionist says alrite. then, later on, when we went into the room for about an hour or so, i called and asked where’s the bed and was told that they will sent it in the evening. so, my family n i went out for some shopping and seafood (wasn’t that great but the marmamite chicken’s the best i ve tasted ever!) and got back about 7ish pm and the bed still wasn’t in our room.

so, my bro and i called about 3 times and was told that they were out of beds! and i said, how can it be when we were promised a bed that was to be delivered by evening (nowadays, i m more vocal and garang then before thanks to my work!) and they said would look into it and get back to us and yup, u guessed it!!! no one called back! which was just plain rubbish service ok. i dunno if it’s cause it was managed by malays or what! i m sorry i can’t help sounding racist!!

finally, my bro decided to just go out to the receptionist and asked and they said they will give us a mattress with no charge! at least, get back to us la rite? how to do business like that?? sheesh. i dunno, seriously left a bad impression! besides that, the place was just so- so and teeming with a particular “group” of ppl which kinda somehow cheapen the place, imo. 

2. sigh. broke broke broke!!! so many colleagues bday this month and chipping in for so many of the presents are leaving a HUGE hole in my pocket!!! sometimes, i wish i could be kiam sap, tighten my purse string, make a stand and say that i won’t chip in but it’s tough especially if the colleagues do mean sth to me. i mean, we may not be best buddies and all, but still, we do laugh and joke at times etc. plus, farewell presents for some who are leaving or have left! yikes!

3. still stuck in the same job. sigh! when will i be able to move on? sheesh. what’s my direction? sometimes, i just wish that i was given a manual on how to function, what to say/do and when to say/do those things and that my life is mapped out for me and all written down somewhere. at least, i won’t have to bang my head constantly trying to figure my life out!

4. wish that we were not apart. sometimes, i just need u to hold me, to be hugged or just know u re beside me. but i guess i have to tahan a bit more and hope things work out. even then, our future is a bit daunting. now, looking ahead, it all sounds exciting and well, away from present crap, but somehow, i think there will be other issues that i’ll have to handle/face.

5. why am i so stiff??? man.. need to do sth abt it. tired of just feeling this way and in this current condition. perhaps should make a weekly visit to bukit kiara or swimming somewhere or just cut down on food!! man.. but lately, i seem to just eat and eat and eat!! sigh! ok, shall try and see if there’s any improvement!

6. wanna watch wall e and also mummy!!! maybe i’ll grab the dvd when it’s out!

7. try to blog more often?

8. man, i need to start studying. wanna try and score a high distinction or at least a distinction this round but somehow i doubt it cos of my average brains =/. anyways, am thinking if i should go brissy for my study break and come back for my exams or just stay there n take my exams there? it is cheaper for me to actually fly back AFTER my exams there but am worried that i might fail again if i were to take it there. after all, it was my first “fail” grade since highschool!! and not just one but two subjects! it was utterly embarassing for me and still is. *sigh* can’t help but wonder if taking it in aussie was a factor of me failing?

9. i must learn not to take too much of ppl’s opinions/inconsiderateness/lack of sensitivity/clique-ishness to heart. sometimes, i feel is it worth to really put in so much effort when the other party just regard u as such? it’s just too tiring and too saddening when u see the friendship not being recipocrated the way u tot it was or how u tot u were part of the group only to feel out of the group. sometimes, when u just think abt it, feels just downrite pathetic! but that’s life rite.

10. wanna go HK with Ms. Bimb but no more leaves and $$$$$!!! man! sounds exciting… disneyland, was museum plus, 7 days n 6 nites of worklessness!!! *hehe* and knowing ms bimb, sure she won’t make one feel left out no matter what!!! and i also wanna climb mt kinabalu next yr!!! so many places i want to go… hope it will materialise eventually…

ok. that’s all for now. yikes! feel a bit sick-ish.. hope it’s not cause i got caught in the rain! head feels heavy a bit!!



ps: Sorry God that i have not been going to church lately. i dunno what to think anymore. my world is filled with stumbling blocks who are too stubborn to change and care about my salvation. then again, this is  supposed to be between u n me rite? but it’s so hard when everything and everyone around me plays a part in my life and the decisions that i make. help them to also see that their actions/attitudes affect and hurt me deeply. sometimes, maybe i say things that are harsh, but it’s only to let out my frustrations but it seems to no avail cos nothing has changed and i wonder if there ever will be a revival…

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wasted weekend

August 17, 2008 at 9:47 pm (feelings) ()

how i feel

how i feel

i wasted yesterday and today sleeping, watching “House” and reading. I feel down. I dunno why. It’s definitely not because of the kennysia and icyqueengoddess scandal.

Maybe it’s because…

– of the freaking hot weather

– the pounding headache

– the incessant coughing that won’t cease

– stupid follow up job that i just don’t have the drive to do as i feel it’s that person’s responsibility in the first place to do it. Come on, most of us are busy with jobs etc and you had to just do this one job plus if you wanted to delegate work, then do it properly and ensure that it was carried out. Please spare me the pushing-blame rubbish. i have half the mind to sent you an email depicting you to finish your crap work and not push it on me to do. i m caught in between what you guys agreed with client, saying one thing and client saying another thing. so, who do i trust?

– that i m still stuck in my company. yeah, i may be given a big job to do come year end but the question that begs to be asked is, “can i manage it?” or will i screw things up? or maybe not able to meet deadlines?? and how will i fare under a different set of people from whom i m used to dealing with?

– i miss you so much sometimes it’s just saddening. when i think of my life, my family, my work and so called friends/colleagues. at least, when i was in brissy, i was away from the politics, oblivious to who is in who’s gang, who is close to who and what is happening and at least i don’t feel the out-of-the-picture, second- fiddle- to- ppl feeling or half the time it feels like everyone has their cliques and i don’t.

– how it feels that no one wants to do their bit. everything’s a mess. wat does going to church mean anything to u? does it make u a better person? i dun see u practising what u ‘re supposed to. then again. who am i to judge rite? i m now just a jaded skeptic who’s tired of living life being obligated all the time when you guys don’t seem to want to chip in and do your part. u re supposed to be the highest among us and should be leading and taking charge. where is the prayerful spirit, the grace that God showers upon u that u should shower on us, the patience that u bestow on others? and you… you’re smart, intelligent and have so many ideas. why the mental block? why stop yourself from being more than who you can be? you’re next in command, do something about it. don’t be afraid to take a stand, to be opinionated and stand by it no matter what others say. let her be, she’s getting on in her years, she needs us to take charge and start taking care of her. it’s time she has her time. her time to do what she wants with it. missions. whatever. but she can’t if we all don’t stand united and chip in.

– how i feel like i signed my life away. now i bear a heavy responsibility. if i don’t meet the deadlines on time, it might lead to brankruptcy. we don’t even have enough to do a proper renovation to my satisfaction. so, i m once again, stuck where i don’t want to be and i can’t leave unless the other side offers me.

– how life is passing me by and nothing’s changed. it’s supposed to be my year isn’t it? i declared it so at the very beginning. after all, it is the rat year! i should have moved on to other jobs, stayed in aussie and away from all the nonsense drivel and politics.

– the superficial things bothers me. how i can’t be as slim as i used to be, have smoother skin like a baby’s bottom, to feel like i m pretty or smart or witty. how others seem to have it… wealth, health, beauty, intelligence etc… how come bad people seem to get away with things. how family treat others better. how ppl can be friends but not act like one. how there is always secrets and politics and scandals etc.

at the end of the day, what is worth it? i m just the smallest, and insignificant.

who am i to you? do i matter? do i mean anything to anyone?

what is my legacy if i cease to exist? have i made a difference in anybody’s life?

i wish i knew the answer then maybe i won’t feel so desolate and meaningless.

ps: sorry God for not being faithful to you and for not being who you want me to be. it’s hard with all the hypocrisy going on. i wish i could be that child once again, with the faith that u r my everything and that i can do anything with ur strength and most importantly, that i will be with u in heaven come that day that i no longer cease to exist.

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wishes and dreams that…

August 6, 2008 at 9:52 pm (feelings) (, )

1. i could find a job i like that pays

2. the SPA will be finalised and we can proceed

3. the weather will be cooler!

4. people won’t talk about private stuff in front of you if they don’t want you to know

5. i can be with you sooner

6. i know what’s my destiny in life

7. i’ll know what’s my forte, my talent

8. we can be together and live happily ever after

9. i can pursue what i like

10. i can be slimmer, prettier, smarter, wittier

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online purchase gone awry

August 6, 2008 at 9:40 pm (feelings) ()

ok. i love to browse through online boutiques to see the current fashion and how much people are willing to pay for clothes etc. and of course, to see if there are any clothes that meet my fancy… and i had a briefest tot to start my own online boutique.. but that’s a story for another day.

While i was in brisbane during my hols, i came across Then, i think they had just started this online boutique business and i was rather interested in a particular top that was going for a reasonable price. Hence, i emailed and went about my purchase. I made my payment and til now have not receive anything at all! i emailed back that person but no response and their website has already been removed. here’s the chronology of the distasteful events:

july 12: emailed to inform my interest in the said blouse.

july 13: there was a reply informing me to proceed with payment to a Chuah Chong Yit, maybank a/c no. 164445024565 of RM37.

july 16: i made my payment to the said account and requested for the purchase to be sent to my house in which the postage was included in the RM37 that i ve already paid.

july 28: as there were no replies and no purchase delivered, i re-emailed asking about the purchase etc and til now, no reply.

from july 13 til now, it’s been 24 days.

So, if anyone knows a CHUAH CHONG YIT, please ask her to REIMBURSE my money if she is not sending me the purchase and by right, she should appease my disgruntledness with a free top or anything of my choice or money would be great.. maybe an air ticket to brisbane in dec would be the best! 

If there was a problem etc, she should have informed me and also reimburse my money. Not me, going to the website and finding it’s no longer available and emailing requesting when my item will be delivered etc and being duped.

Seriously, CHUAH CHONG YIT should do something about this. It is really distasteful and a lousy way of doing business and giving bad impressions to other online buyers out there! maybe someone would know how to hack into her maybank a/c and help me retrieve back my money!

I just want my money back. yeah, it may not be hundreds or thousands, but it’s still my money ok. Money i have to work for despite disliking my job. So, it’s really even more bitter for me that some people can just scam my RM37 just like that. Sheesh. Have some sense of responsibility and integrity.

I really hope that I will get back my money and if i do ever come across this CHUAH CHONG YIT, she had better right the wrong she has done by then.

I mean, for crying out loud… karma is a bitch! that’s if you do believe in karma.

in other words, if you don’t… do unto others what you want others to do unto you!

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are they or are they not?

August 3, 2008 at 5:14 pm (musing) ()

we always see and hear about chun chick bloggers. but where are the charming and suave guy bloggers then? *hehe* my bf will probably skin me alive for wanting to know about hot guy bloggers. so, let’s just stick to chun-female-bloggers.

basically, are they chun? or are they not? are there more to their “looks” or is it basically, just it?

1. let’s start with the ever-so-famous dawn yang

am i pretty??

am i pretty??

Most ppl who have heard about her probably knows about the controversy surrounding her regarding as to whether she had surgeries or not and also about the legal debacle against xiaxue, yet another so-called-chun chick blogger. At the end of the day, she knows the truth and people who knew her from when she was a little baby til now. And as for the truth surrounding that issue, it will always be a topic widely discussed cos as we all know, ppl of today thrive on scandals and gossips!

Anyway, Dawn is a singaporean who’s had a few accomplishments (go read her site if you wanna know more). I was reading her more recent entries and came across about the whitening of her tooth and well, let’s just say, not everyone looks good smiling with their white pearlies. (hey, i m not dissing her ok, it’s a fact! see the pic below and judge for yourself!)

no teeth please...

no teeth please...

suffice to say, i think she smiles better without showing her teeth!

but i don’t really get much from her blog as it’s mostly about her social outings which is rather a lot on clubbing scenes. She does blog on other stuff, i guess.

 2. her nemesis, xia xue aka wendy

i m so chio!

i m so chio!

She is yet another singaporean blogger famous for her “interesting” and mostly not-so-tactful-comments and of course for her nose surgery which she at least acknowledges. Well, some of her entries can be pretty interesting but then again, some can come across as crude. She is not shy to advertise herself which can be good or maybe not, depending on one’s perception.

 3. and moving on… miss malaysia 2008- miss su lin!

oozing with elegance!

oozing with elegance!

Her blog is mainly about her being in the miss universe 2008 pageant and a bit about the other contestants. Hence, we’ve yet to see her true personality and character. However, i realised, she tends to smile rather catlike-ish and also her mouth tends to senget to one side. But all in all, being in such a pageant is definitely no easy feat and she’s only going to be 21years old in october!

So kudos to you!

 4. and of course, miss Su Ann aka Pinkpau

sweet and cute

sweet and cute

She’s only 19, has a bf by the name of Martian and is soon heading off for Columbia to one of the Ivy Leagues. Her blog entries are witty, insightful, deep and meaningful and utterly non bimbotic in any sense! and she sounds like an extremely delightful person!

Some may say she falls under the cute category and yet some may say she’s pretty/sexy but whatever it is, there’s something about her that attracts. Perhaps it’s her bubbliness, her honesty but then hey, who am i to say anything when all i know about her are through her blog entries.

But for what it’s worth, i wish her well in her future undertakings at Columbia and her LDR with Martian. =) Then again, she probably won’t read this as this blog is pretty much a quiet blog whereby not many ppl know about this blog. But anyhow, ALL THE BEST!

 5. Daphne Iking

elegance and grace

elegance and grace

She’s a mother, model, emcee, host for Ringgit Sense and then host of Explorace for 2 years, Breakfast show and the list goes on. If we could only all accomplish so much and still be so beautiful! Just came across her blog recently and I like the way she blogs. There are serious entries and light but heartfelt ones. Sometimes, you can take away with you a little saying or wise words.

Anyways, that’s about all for now. Am tired searching for somemore chun chick bloggers to blog about. Making me feel more inferior. *haha* I guess at the end of the day, beauty IS in the eyes of the beholder. I asked around and some guys/girls think that Dawn is pretty and there are some who think otherwise, that she doesn’t look so natural. Then again, beauty on the surface seem to trump beauty that’s deep within. This comes to show what society is about nowadays.

We worship and idolise hollywood celebrities who sets the trend may it be fashion, broken-up marriages, drug abuse, one night stands, sexual preferences that aren’t so biblical, extreme diet measures and the list goes on when they are only normal humans like us. Just that they’re funded by the money we pay to follow those trends so that they can look good and well, waste their life away.

Thinking about it, it’s rather sad that they have no privacy whatsoever and that as parents, they “sell” their babies’ pictures to the highest bidder! Come on, if you’re proud parents, you just want to shout out to the world and share your joy with the world, not exploit your so called joy in exchange for some millions that you can just throw away on more private jets, crazy parties, drug abuse or whatever that is definitely not beneficial to mankind in general. If all celebrities just donate at least 1Million for the poor and underprivilege and ensure that the right people are getting the money, the world would be a better place. Instead, the money is just for them to waste it on themselves doing silly things and for the paparazzis to have a field day!

Anyways, at the end of the day, it’s we choose who we want to be. So, you can either present yourselves as bimbos or you can present yourself to be a person of grace and elegance. In everything, there is the good and the bad. Well i guess you can say that Dawn and Xiaxue aren’t afraid to voice out their thoughts even if it appears to be bimbotic but somtimes, when we don’t give a care for what society thinks, then we stop taking care of what we say and what we think.

In a world without order, if people don’t abide by rules or social ettiquettes, it’s just like letting Joker loose in the world and asking for chaos and destruction!

 ps: all pics were taken from the individual’s blogs.

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