i hate u

January 14, 2009 at 3:42 am (feelings) (, )

i feel so hurt rite now but what’s the point in saying things that i just very well might regret later on? i cannot fathom how u can say n do the things u said n did. but i m the loser, as usual.

worse part is, i have to wake up in less than 5 hours but it’s hard to sleep especially sporting a headache, tummyache from 4-5pm til now and a heartache for the what?? trillionth time??

i think u re a genius at trampling hearts and smashing it into a billion pieces. i think i could even write an entire novel on it or perhaps come out with a hit song on that.

it’s funny how ppl u care most are the ones that will hurt u the most.

it’s funny how one is supposed to stop n think before one speaks but the other person will just sputter hateful and hurtful words with nary a thought of and for ur feelings.

how can ppl say the things they do in the heat of the moment or in anger and rage n then expect ppl to forget? words once spoken can’t be taken back.

i wonder why i stick up with all the nonsense all these years. am i making a mistake? or perhaps i m living the mistake over and over and again?

perhaps, i m a weak fool. i fear change and i hate the unknown. i doubt hope but still hope in vain.

u re riding on the waves where else i m an ostrich with it’s head stuck in the sand.

some kind of new year this is turning out for me.

ppl say,“at least u r safe n unharm… “

but the question is… “am i really?? if only…..”

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1 Comment

  1. Mysty said,

    I feel ur pain, i’ve experienced similar. Some ppl will let anything come out their mouths, and expect that u will recover; selfish, rude & insensitive ppl feel no remorse. A string of lies becomes routine, and ppl will not just say anything, but they will also do anything that’s pleasing to self, with no regard for you. When you point out what made u hurt and feel belittled, you become subjected to loud, angry, tones of more lying dispute. Change is hard, but really needed; you will never be respected by that person, and you can expect that this kind of treatment will NEVER end; if you stay around, ur feelings will be trampled over and over again.

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