prepared to fail but bf says “cannot”!!

October 22, 2008 at 2:15 am (studies) ()

… that was my gmail nick and ngee thought that the second part was funny. Unfortunately, my bf does not agree. I kind of received a shelling from him for it. You see, he thinks that i m being negative/pessimistic with that statement and after all the trouble he’s gone through which i will talk about later.

He said disgruntledly, “why couldn’t you put a more positive statement?” And i said, “Like what?? What’s wrong with it?? Even Ngee says it was cute ok…”

“Well, then you better spend less time with her… and something positive along the lines like- wishing or hoping to pass??”

-_-“ *sweat* (btw, sorry Ngee… he didn’t mean it about us spending less time together… we can still hang out!!)

I have made those kind of wishes in the past and look where it got me to? Don’t we all make wishes and fervently hope that they come true? Some may wish to win the Million dollar jackpot. Some on the other hand may wish that they excel in their exams. Others perhaps wishes to be beautiful and maybe some others wish to be successful. As for me, I am no different. I wish and wish and wish and…

However, there is one thing about me. I am the kind of person who takes disappointments doubly harder that anyone else.. or so i think and even my bf concurs on this. I would wish for something and when it doesn’t materialise, my world will come crashing down, life as i know totally ceases to exist.. my world at it’s end.

Ok. So i exaggerate. *snicker* (but you fell for it!)

And so, instead of wishing i will pass my exams, i prepare myself for the possibility that i might fail (of course i want to pass, a high distinction would be even better!) and i don’t think it with pessimismness but with absolute objectivity. I embrace that possibility and prepare myself mentally but it doesn’t mean i give up studying altogether.

No, i still try to read through my modules although i m beginning to wonder why do we put ourselves through this torture of reading such material that i somehow fail to see any relevance to my work and did i mention how BORING and DRY the reading materials are???!!! And an article of 11pages on what happened to Enron etc. when one could just be short, precise and summarise the whole article into maybe 5pages or less!

Such torture to my eyes and mind!!! no wonder my bf thinks i m mentally not rite! All this mindless mind boggling articles has fried my mind and everything is all jumbled up! hah! *Kidding!*

I guess my bf was miffed at my “prepared to fail” status as he has been rather encouraging ie. promising to email me each day i study (and knowing my bf, it takes him forever to type what more to say send an email to me!) and he also came up with a study plan for me ytd and today! and all for my benefit! i hope i keep to it!

here’s the plan for tuesday!! =)

22nd Oct

9.00     wake up, bathe, breakfast (most importantly eat something so can stay alert), read newspaper. If you can, then try do IB 1 before 11.00

11.00   Study

1st break (rest for 10 mins 11.30 till 11.40)

2nd break (rest for 10 mins 12.10 till 12.20)

3rd break (rest for 10 mins 12.50 till 1.00)

            CGA 1

1.30     Lunch read newspaper, blog, If you have spare time then continue a bit of IB 1(optional)

3.00     Study

1st break (rest for 10 mins 3.30 till 3.40)

2nd break (rest for 10 mins 4.10 till 4.20)

Start CGA 6

3rd break (rest for 10 mins 4.50 till 5.00)

5.30     Go for a walk or stroll around your housing area or play with patches, Sleep if you want to but make sure you wake up before 6.30 so you get half hour to freshen up before starting your study again.

6.30     Have a cup of tea with biscuit for dinner

7.00     Study

            1st break (rest for 10 mins 7.30 till 7.40)

2nd break (rest for 10 mins 8.10 till 8.20)

3rd break (rest for 10 mins 8.50 till 9.00)

            CGA 6

9.30     Take bath, Surf the net, read the mail and all, wait for my call, munch a few biscuits

11.00   Study

1st break (rest for 10 mins 11.30 till 11.40)

2nd break (rest for 10 mins 12.10 till 12.20)

3rd break (rest for 10 mins 12.50 till 1.00)

            IB 1

Finish at 1.30 and get ready to sleep.

Lights off by 2.00 (MSG CLEMENT B4 SLEEP)

1)      Make sure you don’t break longer than you are supposed to

2)      Try your best to keep to this timing

3)      Make sure you have proper meal before you study

4)      If you are ahead of schedule move on to next topic

5)      Try your best not to sleep in the noon

6)      Be discipline

Thank you God for my goldfish bf. Despite our UPs and super LOADS of DOWNs… ok ok.. kidding… our many many UPs… he is still here for me and tries his best to please me, sayang me when i super emo, tahan me during my pms rampages and encourage me when i m down.. and even when i bite back at him, he tries to be ever patient but a guy can only take so much, rite?? hehe.. sometimes he does experience the occasional brattishness and pms himself!

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