August 24, 2008 at 8:55 pm (feelings) ()

somehow, it seems as if i don’t blog as much as i used to. true enough that i tend to blog when i m down or depressed. i may not be SUPER depress or anything but i m definitely not chirpy happy. 24 this year and seriously, time is passing me by.

there’s so much more i want to do, so much more i have to do and so much more there is to do. i just feel overwhelm all the time and i don’t know where to start or how to begin. seeing as to how i ve not had time or lack of blogmood, here’s just a mini update.

1. family trip to Swiss Garden sth sth club at Damai Laut was alrite. Didn’t do much, mostly rested, watched tv, swim and had a dip in the jacuzzi with sis n mum. yeah yeah. who watches tv and sleeps when they’re on vacation rite?

well, firstly, the HOTEL’s service really SUCKS to put it bluntly. we asked for additional bed for my bro when we checked in and the receptionist says alrite. then, later on, when we went into the room for about an hour or so, i called and asked where’s the bed and was told that they will sent it in the evening. so, my family n i went out for some shopping and seafood (wasn’t that great but the marmamite chicken’s the best i ve tasted ever!) and got back about 7ish pm and the bed still wasn’t in our room.

so, my bro and i called about 3 times and was told that they were out of beds! and i said, how can it be when we were promised a bed that was to be delivered by evening (nowadays, i m more vocal and garang then before thanks to my work!) and they said would look into it and get back to us and yup, u guessed it!!! no one called back! which was just plain rubbish service ok. i dunno if it’s cause it was managed by malays or what! i m sorry i can’t help sounding racist!!

finally, my bro decided to just go out to the receptionist and asked and they said they will give us a mattress with no charge! at least, get back to us la rite? how to do business like that?? sheesh. i dunno, seriously left a bad impression! besides that, the place was just so- so and teeming with a particular “group” of ppl which kinda somehow cheapen the place, imo. 

2. sigh. broke broke broke!!! so many colleagues bday this month and chipping in for so many of the presents are leaving a HUGE hole in my pocket!!! sometimes, i wish i could be kiam sap, tighten my purse string, make a stand and say that i won’t chip in but it’s tough especially if the colleagues do mean sth to me. i mean, we may not be best buddies and all, but still, we do laugh and joke at times etc. plus, farewell presents for some who are leaving or have left! yikes!

3. still stuck in the same job. sigh! when will i be able to move on? sheesh. what’s my direction? sometimes, i just wish that i was given a manual on how to function, what to say/do and when to say/do those things and that my life is mapped out for me and all written down somewhere. at least, i won’t have to bang my head constantly trying to figure my life out!

4. wish that we were not apart. sometimes, i just need u to hold me, to be hugged or just know u re beside me. but i guess i have to tahan a bit more and hope things work out. even then, our future is a bit daunting. now, looking ahead, it all sounds exciting and well, away from present crap, but somehow, i think there will be other issues that i’ll have to handle/face.

5. why am i so stiff??? man.. need to do sth abt it. tired of just feeling this way and in this current condition. perhaps should make a weekly visit to bukit kiara or swimming somewhere or just cut down on food!! man.. but lately, i seem to just eat and eat and eat!! sigh! ok, shall try and see if there’s any improvement!

6. wanna watch wall e and also mummy!!! maybe i’ll grab the dvd when it’s out!

7. try to blog more often?

8. man, i need to start studying. wanna try and score a high distinction or at least a distinction this round but somehow i doubt it cos of my average brains =/. anyways, am thinking if i should go brissy for my study break and come back for my exams or just stay there n take my exams there? it is cheaper for me to actually fly back AFTER my exams there but am worried that i might fail again if i were to take it there. after all, it was my first “fail” grade since highschool!! and not just one but two subjects! it was utterly embarassing for me and still is. *sigh* can’t help but wonder if taking it in aussie was a factor of me failing?

9. i must learn not to take too much of ppl’s opinions/inconsiderateness/lack of sensitivity/clique-ishness to heart. sometimes, i feel is it worth to really put in so much effort when the other party just regard u as such? it’s just too tiring and too saddening when u see the friendship not being recipocrated the way u tot it was or how u tot u were part of the group only to feel out of the group. sometimes, when u just think abt it, feels just downrite pathetic! but that’s life rite.

10. wanna go HK with Ms. Bimb but no more leaves and $$$$$!!! man! sounds exciting… disneyland, was museum plus, 7 days n 6 nites of worklessness!!! *hehe* and knowing ms bimb, sure she won’t make one feel left out no matter what!!! and i also wanna climb mt kinabalu next yr!!! so many places i want to go… hope it will materialise eventually…

ok. that’s all for now. yikes! feel a bit sick-ish.. hope it’s not cause i got caught in the rain! head feels heavy a bit!!



ps: Sorry God that i have not been going to church lately. i dunno what to think anymore. my world is filled with stumbling blocks who are too stubborn to change and care about my salvation. then again, this is  supposed to be between u n me rite? but it’s so hard when everything and everyone around me plays a part in my life and the decisions that i make. help them to also see that their actions/attitudes affect and hurt me deeply. sometimes, maybe i say things that are harsh, but it’s only to let out my frustrations but it seems to no avail cos nothing has changed and i wonder if there ever will be a revival…


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