heart wrenching sobs

June 9, 2008 at 10:38 pm (feelings) ()

Actually, the below entry was writen on Saturday (7th June 2008 ) about 4am on another blog but i have now changed to this site… seriously a genius recommendation by my sis.. slightlyinsane@wordpress.com was the initially suggestion but unfortunately, someone else had the foresight to be more brilliant in their insanity and hence, going kookies was borned!


I used to blog at blogspot (my very first blog) since 2003 and have been blogging until end of last year when I realized that perhaps some people from office were also reading my “oh-so-interesting” blog. It got to me that I had unknown readers which led me to privatise my blog. After all, my blog entries were rather depressing and contained much griping and perhaps, a little whining on working life.


Shortly, I was outstation for several months and the blog became somewhat redundant as blogging for no audience wasn’t any much pleasurable adding to the fact that I was super preoccupied with work. Friends and readers from my first blog did ask me to grant them access to my now privatised blogspot but it seemed pointless when I rarely update.


However, I’ve come to realised that I miss blogging. It’s sort of my outlet to vent, to rant and whine. Waitminute. I don’t whine. I express intellectual complaints, I mean, air my grievances. And so, here I am, once again blogging about my mundane, solitary existence.


And here, here I am at 4.02am on a Saturday morning. Blogging.


Although today is Friday (more like 4 hours ago), the highlight of all working person’s week, I was rather down. Being bogged down by work, my solitary existence, oceans-away-bf, family circumstances and my carelessness and endless blunders just overwhelmed me. As I left office and walked to my car, my dratted eyes kept tearing. God only knows why.


Drove back home and was still sort of crying. Fine. Bawling my eyes out. Didn’t wanted to go home just yet and drove around aimlessly. Megah to SS2 to D’sara Jaya and eventually back home. I felt so alone right at that moment. I wanted to meet someone up. Anyone. Just to talk, to seek comfort. But there was nobody that I could call.


And that just made everything more miserable.


I hope no one feels the way I do right now. And that they have ‘a person’. A Christina or a Meredith. Unlike pathetic lonely me who has no one to back me up, to be my person. Just like Alex Karev.


For the clueless, Christina, Meredith and Alex are characters from the series, “Grey’s Anatomy”.



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